Of course, this is a bit passive-aggressive, but it’s funny at the same time. And let’s not forget that what makes humor work is the degree to which its concept approximates the truth.
Kidding aside, I would choose Rick Perry: Texans hate government regulation so much that many of them would rather suffer greatly than to succumb to what the other 49 states are doing to take care of their citizens.
The state’s secessionist movement, in which Texas wants independence from neo-socialist America had grown a great deal of strength, both within the state and from all of us outside it. Who wouldn’t want to see Texas provide its own national defense, auto and food safety standards, air traffic control, TSA, social security, Medicare, bank regulation and deposit insurance, copyright and patent laws, weather service, Federal Housing Authority, consulates and embassies, FEMA, veterans affairs, public water systems, monitoring of all international cargo, border protection, the National Institutes of Health?
One thing they don’t need help with is criminal justice; Texas is the death penalty capital of the world.
Another strength: guns, which wear like fashion accessories.
I started to add “environmental regulation” to the list, before remembering that Texans don’t want any.
